Reframing Mistakes for Growth
Since I work a lot with paradigms, I know that certain individuals are highly vulnerable to feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment. Many times I have to work with these individuals to reframe “mistakes” into something that calms their fight or flight response.
It goes like this - what if I told you… you’ll be more encouraged to grow by adopting the philosophy that there are no mistakes? What we think of as “messing up” is an important part of growth anyway. So a healthy yet accountable reframing will encourage personal growth.
Let me break down three ways we can reframe those so-called mistakes and see them as opportunities to learn and do better.
1. If You Didn’t Know Better, It’s Not a Mistake—It’s a Learning Opportunity.
Look, if you didn’t know better, how can you even call it a mistake? It’s just a learning moment. We all start somewhere, and there’s nothing wrong with that! Every time we try something new, we’re going to stumble a little, but that doesn’t mean we “messed up.” It means we’re learning. So the next time you feel like you’ve done something wrong, ask yourself: “Did I even know better?” If not, take it as a chance to grow.
You’ll feel much better. Accept that you didn’t make a mistake—you just learned something new, and that’s a win in my book!
2. If You Knew Better but Didn’t Execute It Well, It’s Not a Mistake—It’s an Error You Can Learn From.
Now, maybe you knew what to do but didn’t quite hit the mark. That’s not a mistake either—it’s an error. What’s the difference? Well, in this situation, the word “mistake” makes us feel like we have to prove our innocence, right? And that pressure can make you anxious, defensive, and lead to second-guessing yourself. It might even make you afraid to try again. But an error? That’s just part of the learning process. You didn’t fail—you’re just working out the kinks. Every time you get back up and try again, you get better at it. So don’t let one error stop you—keep pushing forward and perfecting your craft.
3. If You Knew What to Do and Still Did Something Else, It’s Not a Mistake—It’s a Choice.
Now, let’s be real—sometimes we know exactly what to do but decide to go in a different direction. And guess what? That’s not a mistake—it’s a choice. Choices come with outcomes, some good, some not so great, but in either case, it’s not an innocent mistake. You made a decision. You made a choice. And the beauty of choices is that we have the ability to learn from the past and apply that learning to the future! Be accountable to a certain extent, but don’t beat yourself up. Emotionally abusing yourself is not a good way to adapt or encourage future improvement. Failing to learn from a choice may cause you to make the same choice again. Repeating the same choice three times makes it a trend. Accept your part in any deliberate decisions that didn’t turn out the way you hoped. Own it, learn from it, forgive it, change your future behavior, and keep it moving.
The Takeaway
In a healthy way, we can stop calling them mistakes, okay? There are exercises we can do to help with the feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment. After all, reframing isn’t meant to excuse you from being accountable to yourself or others. It’s meant to help you recover from the emotional impact.
Whether you’re learning something new, working through an error, or making a choice that didn’t turn out how you thought, it’s all part of the process. You’re growing with each step, and that’s what matters most. Embrace the lessons, keep learning, and know that you’re doing just fine. Every single experience is a chance to get better, so don’t be afraid to try. You’ve got this!
Now go out there and embrace those lessons, and as always…
FEEL POSSIBLE!
