Day 4 of Surrender
Hopefully you know the biblical concept of “surrender”. It’s about ending the resistance of your ego and yielding everything about you to God to use us as he sees fit. I am on my fourth day of surrender and while it doesn’t feel as heavy as the first three days, it is still heavy.
It’s heavy because it’s not like going to school for a degree, building a business from scratch, or sacrificing to build a dream - each of these being quite heavy to endure. It’s heavy in an opposite way: allowing every moment to be my teacher, finding my purpose in the moment, and remaining open to seeing how life takes its own shape.
In one aspect that sounds fairly aimless but it’s not. I still have goals. I am still moving in the direction of my purpose yet I am abandoning what that looks like in the tangible sense. If I can explain it with a visual it would go something like this:
Imagine being at a desk with a stress ball in your hand. Something about this stress ball makes it special, rare, unique, and people associate you with it. Maybe a King had it and gifted it to you, maybe you found it in the Lost City of Atlantis. Maybe you’ve had it since you were a kid and it has sentimental value. Whatever gives it value, so be it.
The stress ball represents anything in life that you cling to both tangible and intangible.
Now imagine relaxing your grip. End your attachment to the ball even if it is your favorite regardless of its qualities and the various reasons the ball is special. End the subjectivity that leads you to cling to it. Separate your identity from the object while maintaining its value independently of you. Take how it has served you and separate yourself from needing it to serve you further in order to maintain your self-image.
Apply the concept to everything in your life. Your career, profession, the car you drive, the house you own, the clothes you wear, your children, your pets, your social identity, your favorite brands, your dreams, your ambitions, .etc. Simultaneously, maintain your ability to function and serve. Have preferences but don’t be preferential. Have desires yet be anxious for nothing.
That’s what I mean when I say it’s heavy. It’s unnatural to have this kind of separation and proximity. It’s fatiguing to exist in the in between and yet - everything God does for you he does for Himself and for those around you. The duality of a man is the struggle. The many hats he wears are but accessories. His purpose(s) is his only true identifier because it is in him at birth and obscured during development.
That’s a simple thing but it’s also monumental. For me, I have an ability to see into a person or situation and identify ways that I can help them transform. I can help them in ways I can’t explain. I’m not attached to doing that in a coaching business format. I’m not glued to only achieving my end one way. However the person comes along for help, in whatever condition, and whatever the moment presents I will call upon my ability to engage and serve. I am not attached to the result. I am not responsible for healing. I will only function the way I am designed to and to the best of my ability.
